Tag Archives: TCK

Bridge Kids

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An attempt at a bridge made of kids

Before coming to Cambodia I used the basic mechanics of a bridge as an analogy to describe a missionary — the connection that a missionary has between two cultures, their home culture and their new culture (this analogy I stole from another missio friend, Arthur). The basic picture is that a bridge has a connection to two places, but doesn’t really dwell in either but is stranded between.

Before coming to Cambodia I also did a seminar on some guesses that I had on mission. I talked about the immersion model of mission (living as completely as you can like the locals). I then opposed this idea with the idea of being connected that now comes to us through the internet and how this has changed mission. Does it mean that it’s harder to be immersed like it was before with so many ways and opportunities to connect with our home culture than before? My basic point was rather than think about these two mission types as ‘either/or’ (both are unattainable ideals as neither is truly possible), I found it helpful to view connection and immersion as two points on a spectrum and that missionaries will sit somewhere on that spectrum based on their goals and situation. Further, missionaries might slide up and down that spectrum at various stages of their ministry overseas.

Having been in Cambodia what I am realising is that this sliding between immersion and connection doesn’t necessarily just occur in the long term, but can occur around short periods of time. As missionaries prepare for furlough (home assignment) and so their head moves more towards their home country.

Having been in Cambodia what I’m also realising is what this idea of immersion and connection means for our kids. We haven’t been immersed as we initially thought and so that changes their experience of Cambodia, but also how much they are affected by Cambodia. Further, with more connection this has also affected their relationships with family and friends in a Australia (often in a really positive way). One example of this is a closeness with grandparents that might not have been possible before (see here, here and here for further details). In my seminar I had been exploring immersion and connection from serving as a missionary point of view. What I haven’t really begun to explore (but we have been experiencing) is how immersion and connection affect our kids.

While I appreciate the term TCK (Third Culture Kid) as a way of describing what it’s like to grow up overseas away from your parents home culture. For me, seeing them as Bridge Kids is a more concrete description of what it’s like to grow up overseas.

No-longer New: #7. A ‘Corks not in Cambodia’ visit to Cambodia

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Most of the posts on this blog come from my point of view as we settle into our life in Cambodia. One of the things I enjoy adding to this blog are other opinions, or other points of view. ‘Corks not in Cambodia’ posts provide some of that diversity in reflection. So while this post comes in the middle of one series about our life a year on, in another sense this post follows on from two previous posts concerning the experience of one Cork from afar. But this post, instead of being from afar, is about a ‘Cork not in Cambodia’ coming close. Having moved from saying goodbye and experiencing the first year as a grandparent with grandchildren overseas, this post moves to the first visit, the first reunion of parent and child, grandparent and grandchild. My mum, a Cork not in Cambodia, came to Cambodia for a visit. Below are her reflections on this first visit1 having returned back to Australia:

In December it was finally time for our long awaited trip to Cambodia. I arrived at the airport and travelled by tuk-tuk through Phnom Penh. It was then that my first reaction to Cambodia began – a feeling of being overwhelmed by the cultural differences around me. Every sense was assailed by the alternate lifestyle and conditions that prevail, and that speak of a totally different experience of life. The material wealth that supports our living in Australia doesn’t exist in Cambodia. Standards like those required by our governments on our living conditions, aren’t in place. Living areas and daily activities are not organized into orderly and logical regions like our communities are. The differences challenged my understanding about what I saw and thought.

My reaction to the cultural difference was modified by being able to join with our own familiar family. They were the buffer against the unfamiliarity and strangeness.  But this in turn highlighted the isolation that they must experience being separated by language and culture from the place they live in. And the balance they need to work at – keeping the parts of our culture that are important for their family, and blending this with local patterns.

Alongside the experience of cultural difference was the great excitement to see our son, daughter in law and grandchildren.  It was so lovely to be with them again and share a family holiday time, and to slip back into our comfortable relationships. I do wonder how it will be as the children grow older and their memories of Australia and the people there become more distant.

It was also amazing to see how much our son, daughter in law, and grandchildren, have achieved in one short year. Their familiar and automatic responses to the circumstances they are in spoke of hard work in settling into a different culture. And their language interactions were amazing and entertaining.

Of course our holiday finally came to an end and it was time to leave. It was hard to leave knowing the distance that would separate us again, and knowing that we are too far away to be of much practical support.  There were no words that I could find to bring comfort to a sad grandchild as we said goodbye. Sometimes big goals have big costs.

But we look forward to our next trip to Cambodia; being able to see our Cambodian family again, and build on our first experience.

 

 

 

  1. It’ll be interesting in the future to contrast this first visit with later visits and how they are the same and different. ↩