stress |

While the photo is anything but crazy, we took some time away to prepare for what is described below.

Missionary friends of ours (Arthur and Tamie Davis) have shared with us quite wisely that 2 months out from a transition (a move overseas for us) there is a change in dynamics. Craziness happens. Parents and children are both more stressed, easily agitated and so not functioning well. This change in functioning is both a grieving of leaving as well as an excitement about the next. This change in functioning is often combined with not sleeping as well and increased workload in preparations. Also people want to see you and you want to see people before you leave. The result is that this time is pretty crazy. In terms of my goals for my work, I need to learn to halve them and give myself and my family grace in this time.

As I reflect, part of the stress comes from pressure. The finality of the transition (compared to another year of more of the same) adds pressure to the now (the time just before leaving), both in terms of leaving well but also in terms (particularly for me and my personality) wanting to do too much in and with the time left. While at the same time, my head is more in imagining zone about our time in Cambodia, further taking any leftover brain space from preparations to leave. Pressure feels like it captures this period in a really visceral way, where our body is affected by this transition time. I’ve noticed myself being a bit more physically jittery (symptoms like heart racing at random times). My physio brain knows that muscle twitches like this further add to physical tiredness along with everything else.

This two month period is mirrored on arrival and so it helps me to set my expectations right for once we get there. We want to reconnect. There’s the reconnection of admin and all those start up jobs in a new place (or in a place you haven’t been to for a while). There’s the reconnection of relationships. When you first go to a new place, relationships from your home culture provide support while you build new relationships in your new location. This time, while relationships from Australia are closer given the time we’ve spent here, we’ve got good relationships that we head back to in Cambodia and so there is a sorting out how to give time to relationships in both locations; staying in touch with family and friends as you slowly disconnect and re-settling into the supportive relationship network that we have there.

“How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in Cambodia?”

Inspired by Tamie Davis’ (another CMSer) post on changing a lock in Tanzania, we wanted to give you a sense of what it’s like to try and get a job done around the house.

So basically, we’ve noticed the light in the kitchen flickering for a week. It is annoying enough that it becomes one of the jobs that we decide that we are going to do something about (many jobs don’t make it this far because of what we are about to describe).

Sam mentions it to our house helper. She suggests we ask our tuktuk driver (who is supremely helpful majority of the time) and he proceeds to remove the faulty fluorescent globe in order to replace it. However, in removing it either he busts the socket or the socket is already busted. Good chance for the latter as there is a bunch of water damage in a number of areas in our house, combined with cheap construction. So at this point we need to call in an electrician. Sam and our helper don’t know who to call, so our tuktuk driver makes a call. This moves from a job where we are chatting to one Khmer person (our tuktuk driver) to a full on Khmer conversation with multiple Khmer voices and opinions. We have our tuktuk driver chatting with our house helper about the situation who are both chatting to the Cambodian electrician.

We watch on as the electrician removes the damaged light fitting, and attaches a new, smaller, fitting. There are some questions about tape, and Sam finds the electrical tape and sticky tape. Both are used, electrical tape on the light fitting, and sticky tape to secure the empty globe box to the hole in the ceiling. Job complete, the light is turned on, and it is declared that this light is “brighter than before,” and so obviously better. To us, there is a loss in aesthetic quality, but it’s still functional. Then there’s negotiating payment.

Here’s how we see the conversation. We have our house helper who is extremely loyal and who we assume is going in to bat for us. We have our tuktuk driver who is extremely well connected in the neighbourhood and is loyal towards us but not in the same way as our house helper. We overhear the Cambodian electrician state a higher price than our house helper is happy with, with the reasoning being we are foreigners living in a gated community.

We get lost in this cacophony of Khmer. Leaving aside the Cambodian electrician who seems to be overcharging us for dismantling a light fitting and leaving our new bulb just hanging from the wires that protrude from the ceiling. We are comforted because we have our helper who is supremely looking out for us and a guy who knows everyone involved. This mediatorial grouping means that we have connections and a decent chance of not being fully ripped off despite the lack of language.¹

The job gets done in some fashion. Not the way we had thought or would prefer. But done according to them and so (for this time) done according to us as well. So how many people does it take to change a light bulb in Cambodia? We would say at least 4.

My guess is that language is one of the major barriers to being able to function in any new culture. So a lack of language already puts you at a distance, even while living in the culture. Just trying to do basic jobs in a new culture is stressful unlike doing them in your passport country. ↩

Put a cork in it

Tag Archives: stress

Digital dep #13: The 2mth crazies

How to change a lightbulb in Cambodia