Settling in: #2. The joy of early wins

Posted on May 9, 2017 by mccorky

My first wet night ride. Notice my poncho goes into my helmet; thongs/flip flops as essential wet weather footwear (essential footwear in heat as well); and the trail of water behind my bike–the water was easily 20cm deep on our street. Not even wet season yet. Oh yeah, that’s two pieces of trash floating along right there.

Who’d have ever thought riding at night in the rain in ankle deep water was a kick? Such is the joy of settling into a new place. Simple things can give you such great joy.

Have you ever started a new sport or hobby before? One of the joys of starting that sport or hobby is that in the early days you see lots of improvement. You make what seems like big wins.

I was a regular bike rider in Australia – both for recreation and transport. I loved it. But riding in a new place is a joy, an early win in a different way. Riding, to explore and have some independence in a place where you rely on others for transport–win. Riding, after your first fall (with minor cuts and scrapes) in a new country–win. Riding in the wet at night, not just in sprinkles, but in water almost up to your pedals–WIN.

After you’ve been playing or hobbying for a while, those early wins diminish slightly. But in the early days, they’re more regular, more visible and more joyful.

The joy of settling into a new country includes getting good at living in that new country. Completing simple tasks provides easy wins, like learning how to buy food, learning how to get around (particularly without a car or obvious form of transport), learning how to pay bills, or setting up a bank account. All these things come with a sense of satisfaction that you might not have in a country where you are able to do more things. In the context of very obvious inabilities (settling into a new country), growing abilities provide a great source of joy. Bring on the early wins!

Settling in: #1. Newness tiredness

Posted on May 2, 2017 by mccorky

We’re being very ‘Cambodian’ in combating our newness tiredness.

Overseas tiredness is different from tiredness in your own country. While being too busy is present in both, there is one major difference; as you settle into a new country everything is new.

In your own country there’s a mix of new and old. Often the old is easy to do–we do it without thinking about it. How many people driving in Sydney for 10 years get stressed by ‘the scariness of driving in Sydney.’¹

In a new country, everything is new, nothing is old. Which means everything is hard work. Even the little things that you wouldn’t think about as hard, are tiring. One example is shopping. Where do you go to get food? You can’t get it all in one place. There is often one place for one thing and another place for the next thing. None of this is one stop shop; more like one thing per shop. It hurts your head just trying to figure these simple things out. So overseas tiredness could be better termed ‘newness tiredness’.² Gradually things change. But in the beginning you’re hit with all the new.

We were told in training, ‘expect to sleep 2 hours extra each night overseas just to get by on the day to day.’ We’ve certainly experienced that. But Sam and I also employed two other strategies to combat newness tiredness (at least we did in the early days). Our first strategy was to just aim to do one thing per day. If you get more than that done, you’ve done well… but maybe too well (you’ll pay for it tomorrow). So really it’s ‘well done’ if only the one thing gets done.

Our other strategy is to think long term. We have the privilege of being here long term, which means we don’t have to try and cram everything in all at once. The result of this is that going slow is not only doable but will enable us to stay long term.

This newness tiredness doesn’t disappear overnight. Even after you’ve ‘settled in’ there’s still more ‘new’. In that sense, the newness tiredness hangs around indefinitely.

There may be other reasons for why you are stressed while driving in Sydney. ↩
Not only are you physically and intellectually tired, but you’re emotionally drained. Your senses are pumped full with new. Your values take a hit as you get used to a new culture and new way of living with different goals and values inherent in their way of doing. ↩

New Series heads up: Settling in over first impressions

Posted on April 25, 2017 by mccorky

The Wat near our house. It encapsulates the feeling of this post, BELOW.

‘First impressions’ or ‘Settling in’. I’ve had these two taglines rummaging around in my brain, peering at me from my notes when I make observations about myself or about Cambodia. Since before we arrived in Cambodia I’ve been hoping to do a series that gives you a sense of how it’s been for us in these early days. I kept coming back to these two phrases, again and again.

The more that I observed and reflected, the more these two phrases separated in my thinking. Early on they’d almost been synonymous. But as we’ve ‘settled in’ (so far) over these last three months they’ve taken on different meanings. This separation helps to explain where I’m currently at.

I wanted to give you a taste of what Cambodia is like for us, through our new eyes. But I don’t think I’m quite there yet. The more I reflect on our life here, the more I am able to talk about what we were experiencing. Yet at the same time I also feel less able to speak confidently about Cambodia. Not because I don’t like it here, but more because I want to give time to my observations and reflect some more before I make some of them public.¹ The Wat (think temple, i.e., Angkor Wat; pictured on the flag above) near our house provides an apt illustration. We’re used to the Wat, we’re settled. However, I don’t feel I could really say much that is helpful about it, just yet. I hope to soon.

So… I feel I’m able to speak about our experience and how we’re going–settling in–in a way that has clarity and is hopefully helpful. Thus, I lean closer to the term ‘settling in’. ‘First impressions’ seems to require more local knowledge than I have yet to do it well; context sensitive.

So this first series will be about our settling in. There will be glimpses of Cambodia in this series, but mostly it will be about our experience in a new culture. In that sense, the learning will be more general than specific to Cambodia. Although I’m sure it’ll have a Cambodian flavour. So in this series you’ll hopefully get a sense of what it’s been like for us so far – some of the joys and challenges as we’ve settled in to Cambodia.

The proverb that has been running around in my head is ‘In a lawsuit the first to speak seems right, until someone comes forward and cross-examines.’ (Prov 18:17) Not that I feel I’ll be cross examined for what I say by others. This is more just a cross examining from my later ‘me’ (which is bound to happen anyway). ↩

Series wrap up: Fav Provs 28

Posted on April 18, 2017 by mccorky

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I’ve found this series helpful for me. Spending time thinking through a number of proverbs in some detail has helped reinforce my reading of the book as a whole. The result is hopefully that they may more ‘ready on [my] lips’ than before (Provs 22:18). But more than that, I hope they’re shaping my actions as well, that I may not only be reading and learning the path of wisdom, but walking in it as well.

I look forward to another chapter of my Fav Provs to come at some stage in the future (maybe later this year).

Next week I hope to start a series on settling into Cambodia. It should complement the facebook posts of our time so far, but go into more depth with some reflection.

Fav Provs 28: Eye’s open!

Posted on April 11, 2017 by mccorky

Proverbs 28:27

Those who give to the poor will lack nothing,

but those who close their eyes to them receive many curses.

We convince ourselves that the above proverb can’t be true. ‘We need to look after me first’, we say. We make this argument assuming that resources are finite. But God’s Word throws this logic back in our face. Those who lack nothing are not those who look after ‘number 1’ first. Those who actually lack nothing are those who are generous to others. Want to be in want of nothing, then, the answer is give.

I’m assuming that this proverb speaks more than just about our money. It seems it could be applied to being generous with our possessions, time, energy (emotional energy included) or even speaking about a generosity of heart. And I’m assuming that the poor are not those who are only financially poor, but are poor in other ways or even those who are under us or in our care.

For me this proverb, again, relates to my high expectations as well as my material wealth. The cure for me is to give, to be generous with my family and friends and those around me. I need to keep my eyes open to them.

The irony is that those who end up poor are those who are probably materially rich, but their poverty is in curses received. Those who may be materially less well off are the ones then who actually ‘lack nothing’ (assuming there situation is as a result of generosity).

So keep your eyes open (to the poor) and you won’t get hit (with curses).¹

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NB. I was watching a TED Talk the other day on giving and taking. Even secular research agrees with the Bible’s stance on generosity.

By curses, I don’t see this as some sort of witchcraft, but the active judgment of God in our lives that is often imperceptible to us. ↩

Fav Provs 28: Look within! Really??

Posted on April 4, 2017 by mccorky

Proverbs 28:26

Those who trust in themselves are fools,

but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe.

Although it’s hard to admit, there is actually a right distrust of ourselves. We want the opposite to be true. We want to be trustworthy in ourselves. We want it to be true, and, led astray in this wish, we’re bolstered by the messages around us. Our culture says, ‘Trust yourself’, ‘believe in yourself.’ Our culture says, ‘Look within,’ to find truth.

In reality, however, wisdom isn’t found within, but comes from without. The first line of the proverbs puts wisdom-found-within myth to rest. It poses another paradigm. Wisdom is external to us, not internal. The proverb flips ‘proverbial wisdom’ and says that ‘we need to be in wisdom’. That is, us-in-wisdom rather than wisdom-in-us. The result is that the way we receive wisdom is not by looking within, but by being ‘in’ it ourselves. As the proverb says, we ‘walk in wisdom’. In this sense wisdom is not internal (not in us) but we need to become internal to wisdom.

Wisdom can still become internal, but that doesn’t happen till we are internal to wisdom (walking in wisdom). Even then, wisdom still will remain external. We will always be dependent on God and others for wisdom, for walking in wisdom. The outcome of this way of wisdom is that the wise person knows they remain dependent on God and others for wisdom, even while seeming to possess an ‘internal’ wisdom themselves.

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Fav Provs 28: Blessings as side affects.

Posted on March 28, 2017 by mccorky

Proverbs 28:20

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A faithful person will be richly blessed,

but one eager to get rich will not go unpunished.

Two surprises arise from this proverb. The first is that blessing comes not from seeking blessing (as the one eager to get rich). Blessing comes to the one who is faithful. In this sense blessings are indirect. The problem, then, is not riches per se, but the eagerness to get rich. We can enjoy blessing,¹ but eagerness for riches pushes us past proper conduct into punishment. I think the proverb is underlining that the one who is eager to get rich pushes past others, pushes others down or forgets about others. They end up hurting others in the pursuit of riches. In contrast, the one who is faithful (I take faithful as thankful the blessings God has given them) already as “the other” in mind, since thankfulness is the implicit recognition of a gift from someone else. The take home is that blessings are side affects and shouldn’t be the goal.

The second surprise is that those eager to get rich don’t just end up poor, as you’d expect. Instead they’re punished.

On a slight tangent/rant…

I wonder if this proverb also speaks to the faithfulness/fruitfulness debate.² The usual answer to this dilemma, made by those who are aiming at fruitfulness, is that it doesn’t need to be one or the other, but both. However, those on the faithfulness camp would argue that faithfulness is more important that fruitfulness.

This proverb might say something to both, affirming the priority of faithfulness, but also the importance of fruitfulness. It could do this by affirming that its fruitfulness through faithfulness.

In the end, I can’t help but wondering whether both sides (me included) should heed the warning of Proverbs 14:12 – “there is a way that appears right, but in the end it leads to death.” To me, I see this as a caution about siding with one particular approach as “the right” way.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the use of blessing and riches is intentional. In this proverb, riches becomes an adjective of blessing, a description or one part of it. You could say riches-as-blessing is a narrow view, or just one part of blessing. ↩
The faithfulness/fruitfulness is the debate over which approach is better – to seek to be faithful (stay true) or to seek to be fruitful (spread and grow). ↩

Fav Provs 28: Def Not Winnie the Pooh!

Posted on March 21, 2017 by mccorky

Proverbs 28:15

Like a roaring lion or a charging bear

is a wicked ruler over a helpless people.

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Scary isn’t it. A wicked ruler is like a charging bear. One of things about proverbs is that while this proverb is directed at rulers, its general enough to be applied much more broadly. You don’t have to be a ruler to be able to gain wisdom from this proverb. One easy application is as a parent or as a boss or leader of some sort.

The mention of ‘helpless’ ones turns me straight to my kids; not that they’ll be helpless forever. But in these early years, my anger has the same effect that this charging bear would. Now I don’t see my self as a wicked ruler. Yet, because of sin, I inhabit some of the traits of a wicked ruler. Thus, while parts to my anger that are probably right, not all of it is. There’s always some frustration and impatience mixed in as well – hence wicked ruler-esque.

This proverb has similar themes to Proverbs 28:3. In a previous post I majored on more subtle forms of wicked leadership. In this post, I have in mind a more obvious kind. The kind of ruling (hear parenting or some other form of ruling i.e., being the boss) that instils a more localised fear. This type of ruling instils fear not from a wearing down from high expectations year after year, but from a sudden and often unexpected outburst. Just like a charging bear is often unexpected and localised. This proverb gives us a glimpse into the effect of our own actions, particularly that of anger, for me. It should help us realise our sin and to make amends before God and before those who we charge at. I want to be able to say, ‘Bye-bye beary’.

Fav Provs 28: From dreaming to reaping

Posted on March 13, 2017 by mccorky

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Proverbs 28:19¹

Those who work their land will have abundant food,

but those who chase fantasies will have their fill of poverty.

This has been one of my favourites for a number of years now. I like it because it points me back to doing the important regular things. Land work takes daily care, again and again, and the pay off is often delayed. Its this delay that leads me to chase the fantasy of the short cut or the golden bullet. Often, partly because of my high expectations, I end up in long searches or spending too much time chasing things that aren’t going to happen. This proverb reminds me to do the basics, that of working the land that is before me instead of as the writer of Ecclesiastes puts it ‘chasing the wind.’ In a similar vein to my high expectations, when we’re chasing fantasies we’re not dealing with reality. Working the ground before us is the reality in all its messiness–ordering the disorderly.

Often the working of our land means doing the things we should–the responsibilities that have been placed before us; our vocation. They are often less glamorous. But like discipline, working the land means reaping the benefits in due time: abundant food. Food here is as the symbol of receiving the benefit of our labour. We may not receive food for working the land, it might be proficiency or results of a less material nature. So what do you want to be filled with? Abundant food or poverty.

I just realised today that a similar form of the proverb appears in chapter 12, verse 11. ↩

Fav Provs 28: Wearing our heart on our knees?

Posted on March 7, 2017 by mccorky

Proverbs 28:14

Blessed is the one who always trembles before God,

but whoever hardens their heart falls into trouble.

Many times in the Bible, people are described as hardening their hearts. In one way this is a vivid image that is easy to grasp. A hard heart is no longer soft, no longer soft to those who call to it-either the Lord’s call or the call of those in need. What does a hard heart look like in our life? This proverb fills out this picture slightly more.

To harden your heart, according to this proverb, is to stop trembling before God. In other words, the right response to God from our heart includes trembling. The opposite is also true, a lack of trembling leads to a hard heart.

We often think of a soft heart in terms of compassion and caring. But this proverbs adds another description of how our hearts need to be. Part of a soft heart includes an aspect of trembling, of fear, of being in the presence of greatness, or being in the presence of goodness (when we are not).¹ The obvious application is that trembling before God keeps our hearts soft.

A previous post linked head and heart. But from this post and the last post we should also link heart and knees. On our knees we tremble before God as a medicine against a hard heart. But also, on our knees we confess and find mercy (Prov 28:13). Instead of wearing our heart on our sleeves, maybe we should wear our heart on our knees.

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As an aside, 1 John speaks of the love that drives out all fear. How do we reconcile a love that drives out all fear with an appropriate trembling as part of a soft heart? ↩

Put a cork in it

Author Archives: mccorky