Most of the posts on this blog come from my point of view as we settle into our life in Cambodia. One of the things I enjoy adding to this blog are other opinions, or other points of view. ‘Corks not in Cambodia’ posts provide some of that diversity in reflection. So while this post comes in the middle of one series about our life a year on, in another sense this post follows on from two previous posts concerning the experience of one Cork from afar. But this post, instead of being from afar, is about a ‘Cork not in Cambodia’ coming close. Having moved from saying goodbye and experiencing the first year as a grandparent with grandchildren overseas, this post moves to the first visit, the first reunion of parent and child, grandparent and grandchild. My mum, a Cork not in Cambodia, came to Cambodia for a visit. Below are her reflections on this first visit1 having returned back to Australia:
In December it was finally time for our long awaited trip to Cambodia. I arrived at the airport and travelled by tuk-tuk through Phnom Penh. It was then that my first reaction to Cambodia began – a feeling of being overwhelmed by the cultural differences around me. Every sense was assailed by the alternate lifestyle and conditions that prevail, and that speak of a totally different experience of life. The material wealth that supports our living in Australia doesn’t exist in Cambodia. Standards like those required by our governments on our living conditions, aren’t in place. Living areas and daily activities are not organized into orderly and logical regions like our communities are. The differences challenged my understanding about what I saw and thought.
My reaction to the cultural difference was modified by being able to join with our own familiar family. They were the buffer against the unfamiliarity and strangeness. But this in turn highlighted the isolation that they must experience being separated by language and culture from the place they live in. And the balance they need to work at – keeping the parts of our culture that are important for their family, and blending this with local patterns.
Alongside the experience of cultural difference was the great excitement to see our son, daughter in law and grandchildren. It was so lovely to be with them again and share a family holiday time, and to slip back into our comfortable relationships. I do wonder how it will be as the children grow older and their memories of Australia and the people there become more distant.
It was also amazing to see how much our son, daughter in law, and grandchildren, have achieved in one short year. Their familiar and automatic responses to the circumstances they are in spoke of hard work in settling into a different culture. And their language interactions were amazing and entertaining.
Of course our holiday finally came to an end and it was time to leave. It was hard to leave knowing the distance that would separate us again, and knowing that we are too far away to be of much practical support. There were no words that I could find to bring comfort to a sad grandchild as we said goodbye. Sometimes big goals have big costs.
But we look forward to our next trip to Cambodia; being able to see our Cambodian family again, and build on our first experience.
- It’ll be interesting in the future to contrast this first visit with later visits and how they are the same and different. ↩